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05.08.2002 - 4:43 p.m.

Wednesday
Well, it's been a really quiet week in the office, because of the nerd convention that everyone went to. For literally hours on end it's just me in the building, or it's just me and the office manager. Cats ghost around occasionally, but for the most part there is very little action happening.

Except for all the HOT WET TEEN ASIAN PORN action, that is.

I just had to stick that in there in honor of all the weird-ass Google hits I've been getting lately. I don't know if I suddenly zoomed up the google food chain or what - I mean, I never used to get all these random hits. So in the last couple days, people have visited the Sundry site via:

• bangkok blow job bars (multiple times)
• mouth breather
• enya wav
• dream interpretation walrus
• "I put the fun in funeral"
• Much Ado Golden retrievers
• gay hairdresser
• "Dental work in Mexico"
• gay sideburns

Like others have no doubt said before me, I don't know what is more disturbing, the fact that people are searching for these particular terms or the fact that my journal contains those terms.

Dream interpretation walrus. Hee. Koo koo ka choo.

:::

So last night JB and I attacked the Cat Crap Closet. This is the large closet that contains, among myriad odds and ends, the cat litter 'shed'. Everything in there is coated with a fine layer of litter dust which probably contains microscopic shit particles. Since we're moving in a few weeks, we figured we'd clean that bad boy out so we can use it for storing packed boxes (the closet, not the shed).

It's amazing, the crap you haul around with you house to house. This time I am swearing to chuck each and every piece of flotsam that we don't need. JB is a packrat by heart, so his collection of ancient junk is even worse than mine. As we went through the closet we brutally assessed objects for emotional value, potential usefulness, or forecasted eBay bid amounts - then we threw things away.

God, it was so liberating. And yes, we earmarked some stuff for charities, but the majority of our crap was just that: pure unadulterated crapola. Forty billion feet of stereo wire, a sorrowful unraveling pair of mittens, piles of software manuals from 1994, college-age posters (ah, the ubiquitous Klimt 'Kiss' print), and so on - all went to the dumpster.

Man. I'm feeling all unfettered and stuff. Just wait until we do the HALL closet, with its collection of 327 empty tampon boxes (Yeah, yeah, my bad. I'll take the hit on that one.)

:::

Have I ever told you that JB and I, in the privacy of our own home, sing all the time? Gay little retardo tunes in horrible voices. It's like a musical, one performed by drunken beagles. The little songs have no point whatsoever except to underline a previous statement, and they almost always end in "oh yeah".

Sample musical vignettes:

Me: "This show really huffs big dong."
JB: "Huffffffssss.....a lot of donngggggg.......huffs it heeavvy....it's so wrooonnngg...oh yeah..."

JB: "Cat looks like a damn whale shark or something, she's so fat."
Me: "Cattio cattio you're a fattio fattio...cattio cattio you like laying on your mattio mattio...oh yeahhh."

It's really awful. I know.


go back ::: forward

05.06.2002 - It was like this: "Ba-RUP! Pup! Pup! Pup! Pup! Pup! Pupupupupupupupupfffuufffffffff".
05.02.2002 - So anyway, it's been a year and I'm just staggered by the passage of time, once more.
04.30.2002 -
There's a reason why my lungs have collapsed and I am jamming a Bic pen into my trachea to get more air.

0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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