04.28.2002 - 10:50 a.m.
Ok. So Ikea.
Have you been to one of their stores? Wow. It's like
know, it's like a home shopping PARADIGM, Swedish-ly speaking.
JB and I drove way out to BFE yesterday to what we thought would
be a little store full of a few cheapo closet organizers and
such. Instead we plunged into a Disneyland style parking area
("Remember: you are in the Eklesto Lot!"), and
entered The Catacombs of Ikea.
The whole store is designed
ingeniously (those diabolically clever Swedes!) to wind you through
every single area they have, so you walk and walk and walk and
dodge people with their dorky little Ikea carts and you walk
some more and damn, there's still Home Office Smart Kitchens
Rugs Storage to go.
We ended up finding a computer
desk setup we really liked. For the low low price of $226. All
righty, so you've found an item you want to take home. Now a
perky Ikea salesperson enters all of the product data into their
system, and you get a receipt. You then walk the seventy miles
back to where you pay for stuff, then you stand in line behind
a person who is buying, apparently, half the stock of the entire
You are startled and confused
by the fact that you actually observe a few customers with Swedish
accents. Is this the mother ship for them? Are Swedish people
just naturally tidier and more efficient and tending towards
metal accents and birch countertops?
Once you finally pay, you
go back to your own lot, then drive to another lot, where you
actually pick up your stuff. Despite the fact that you were aware
you must assemble the desk, it is somehow shocking to see that
your item comes in 4927 pieces, two of which are extremely large
It is then, and only then,
that it occurs to you and your husband that it would perhaps
have made more sense to purchase the desk AFTER moving into the
new house. You curse colorfully and steadily as you struggle
to bring the pieces up 5 flights of stairs to the apartment you
are vacating in 3 weeks.
Ikea, man. It's a freaky
place. They also have one of the most enormous ball areas I've
ever seen. You know, those glass walled rooms with a bazillion
plastic balls that kids play in? Some of those kids were several
layers deep. You could see them all pressed against the glass,
like some bizarre archeological find.
So THEN, like it wasn't
ENOUGH excitement that we got the desk, or technically "the
bits and pieces that should theoretically result in a
desk", we headed downtown to check out the Bon's furniture
The Bon has decent furniture,
but you have to fend off gray-suited slick-haired salesmen constantly.
"Back!" you shout, brandishing a whip and a small chair,
All this time that we've
been looking for couches, we've decided that we were not going
to consider leather, because our cat is possessed by demons.
Demons whose mission is to dig at couches (yeah, sort of a lame
job, demonically speaking, but that's what you get in the afterlife
when you don't eat your peas).
And so yesterday, while
we were at the Bon
two leather couches. I can't explain it. They looked great, and
they felt great, and they were on sale, and we were all pumped
up from the Swedish Experience, and all that. So a couch and
a loveseat, ready to be delivered to the new house the day after
we move in.
I'm banking on the cat
not digging because she didn't dig much when she was an outside
cat in the past. She's trapped in the apartment now, but once
we're in the house she can go scratch the hell out of a tree
Maybe I'm kidding myself.
You'll probably read an entry sometime in the future that will
be like "Oh my gaaawwwwwd the cat ripped a giant HOLE in
the couch what'll I dooooooo?"
And you'll be all smug
and "I told you so".
So are you having a good
Sunday? It's sunny and awesome outside and I'm heading down to
the Seattle aquarium soon. Harbor seals and otters and jellyfish,
yay. I'm meeting my pal Peaches and another online journaller, Kim
Rollins (whose diary I would link to but it's all Discontinued
or something, sob).
It's a fine day, there
are couches to dream about, there's leftover Thai for dinner,
and Crown Royal & 7-Ups to be sipped while watching Iron Monkey tonight. Life is good.
04.26.2002 - The
new house, as represented by little graphical doohickeys.
04.25.2002 - There
are other fun things in the tank, too, like the Giant Turd.
04.21.2002 - 6
Things That Have Nothing To Do With Anything
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004