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04.06.2002 - 1:58 p.m.

Saturday flashback!
I'm in a nostalgic mood (where can I get one of those goofy little icons to represent that?). Also I have this painful spot on the roof of my mouth which I cannot stop probing with my tongue, over and over, even though every single time I do it I'm like 'ow' and I'm sure that sort of behavior pattern is indicative of some very deep personality flaw, but I guess it could always be worse, I could be one of those people that washes their hands like 4829 times a day or obsessively plucks their eyebrows and eyelashes, or something.

Anyway, I was listening to the radio in my car earlier and "Rock Lobster" was playing. You know, "Motion in the ocean! Ooh wahh". It got me thinking of the evening dances I used to go to in middle school, that were in the town armory building. I remember how I'd always feel so nervous standing in line, me and a girlfriend usually, checking our lip gloss (that gooey pink wand that left a thick jammy scented shine). Once you were inside, it was so dark we'd huddle in little groups trying to pick out where the popular boys were (Omigod, there's Sean Gryder!).

During the 'fast' songs all the girls basically danced together. The guys hung out in furtive little clots and occasionally slunk outside to smoke. When they played Rock Lobster the girls would get all shrieky, because the super cool thing about that particular song was that during the 'Dowwwn, dowwwn, dowwwwn' part everyone would do this goofy thing where you'd dance lower and lower to the ground until mostly you just toppled onto your ass. Then when the beat picked back up you'd jump up really high - wooo! - and keep on shakin' your groove thing.

Ooh, then a slow song would come on. "Lady in Red". Or OMD's "If You Leave" (a song that to this day makes me feel dreamy and wistful). Girls on one side of the floor, guys on the other. The waiting! Hopeful, heart-pounding waiting for one guy to make that long trek over to your side to ask you to dance. (I remember feeling my first boner, pressed against my leg, at one of those dances. Thinking to myself 'what the hell IS that?' for the first part of the song, and then suddenly understanding and experiencing a somehow powerful sort of sensation - like, oh, this is what girls can do to boys.)

And that mad dash to the ladies' room, you and your friends, where you would be startled by the lighting that threw your carefully applied Max Factor into a caky relief (training for later years in fluorescent-lit bar restrooms). Someone would produce the inevitable bottle of Aqua Net, fished from the bottom of an Esprit canvas tote bag, and blast choking fumes onto comb-ratted bangs. A wrenchingly cruel discussion about someone's skirt - then back out to the inky darkness where "Walk This Way" would be playing.

I don't dance much, these days. Even if the opportunity presents itself, I have to be well and thoroughly fortified with Vitamin Beer before I'll hit the dance floor. Somewhere along the way, between landing on my butt during "Rock Lobster" and now, I got all self conscious. Will a slow song ever fill me with that mix of terror and fervent hope again? Will I ever try to dance to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' again?

Hopefully not.

Well...unless I was a stripper.

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go back ::: forward

04.05.2002 - I'm already starting to worry about the potential size of my ass.
04.04.2002 - They need a marketing ninja to come in and kick major ninja ass, and friends - I am that ninja.
04.03.2002 - So, a week of instability, outlook-on-life-wise, plus the added fun of a poor body image. Yay for hormones!

0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

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