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03.13.2002 - 1:46 p.m.

Wednesday
Today's thrilling news is that I cleaned out a bunch of dusty-ass bookshelves. Jump back. While doing so I found an old story I wrote for a school assignment back when I was but a wee Sundry snippet. We all had to write something, then bind it into a booklet with what appears now to be textured wallpaper.

I have a vague memory of this. What I do remember clearly is doing it slapdash, the night before it was due. This was a routine that was to follow me throughout the remainder of my academic career.

Anyway, I learned that this diary thing has been a fascination of mine for quite some time. Let me take you back…waaay back….to 3rd grade, and -

THE DIARY OF ZEKSYLL!!!!!

Year 2156 2nd March
I do not ride zaps often. But today I must get to Lascha's house, 2,000 light years away. The reason why I don't ride zaps is because my long claws often get tangled up in the steering triangle. It hurts alot.

Oooh, zaps and steering triangles. If you are wondering at this very moment why I didn't become a famous science fiction author, in the manner of Robert Heinlein - you're not alone, mister.

2156 3rd March
The meeting at Lascha's house was horrible. Lascha had fallen sick with a micro-germ. The germ got on me and I feel awful. Darn that germ! It's terrible to lie in bed while that #$@! germ eats away!

Censored for the delicate eyes of my teacher, I suppose.

2156 15th March
I got over my sickness but when I looked out the window, I don't see my high-speed-steel-belten zap. It must have been stolen! Oh no!

Steel-belten. Hee. Also why does Zeksyll even own a zap when he's got that claw problem?

2156 16th March
I rode my zit all over and finally found my zap at Seiffer's house. He was not home so I took it.

The, um, zit. Handy in the case of the missing zap. Who is Seiffer? No one knows.

2156 18th March
Seiffer was arrested for stealing today. Not much to say.

Ah, the exact moment when I lost all interest in this assignment. One thing is for sure, and that's that we won't be following up on that missing zap storyline.

2156 19th March
Good news! Father is going to take me on a run with him today. Got to hurry. Here is alien territory:

A "run". Could be anything. Maybe a little coke, eh? Maybe a little white China?

nebulous kidney shapes ahead, sir

2156 1st April
L-6, F-11, and D-7 are the ones we will go to.

The You-Sunk-My-Battleship grid-map. Looks like I really put some effort into this.

2156 2nd April
We were postponed on our trip because of rain. When we finally got to L-6 the aliens, creatures with blue fuzz, attacked. We went home and got a new zap. We went to F-ll and 20 aliens destroyed the new zap. I got mad and...

(Scribbles for the next two pages.)

where are the long claws?

2156 4th April
ALIEN 100 forced me to scribble in my journal to make me mad! Ooh I hate Alien 100!!

A dramatic turn of events!

2157 New Year
I'm so mad that ALIEN 100 made me ruin my diary I could just cry. But at least they didn't hurt me.

THE END

Yes, wrapping things up nicely there at the end. The drawing of Zeksyll particularly smacks of oh-crap-it's-due-in-5-minutes. Also, apparently 154 years in the future everyone will have evolved into octopuses.

Well, well. And so that's the torrid and action-packed tale of Zeksyll. I did go on to write such potboilers as "Mindy Gets a Pony" which perhaps I'll share at another time.

Um, or not.

go back ::: forward

03.12.2002 - maybe it's because I had to go to the eleventh circle of HELL this afternoon.
03.11.2002 - Anything that makes your butt muscles hurt that much has got to be good for you, right?
03.10.2002 - I sliced its pallid dead zombie flesh and totally kicked it up a notch in the frying pan. BAM!

0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

yay, diaryland