03.12.2002 - 5:37 p.m.
I'm all cantankerous today. Maybe because Casino was on USA last
night, which was aired despite the fact that it's Casino,
dammit, it has Pesci and DeNiro saying 'fuck' or variations thereof
like 284918103 times, so why show it when it has to be
dubbed to hell and back and ends up sounding like Mormons came
and took big steaming dumps all over the dialogue? I mean, "stuff
Or maybe I'm feeling cranky
because my ass still feels like it somehow got attached to a
taffy-pulling machine, from that yoga class on Sunday.
Or maybe it's because I
had to go to the eleventh circle of HELL this afternoon. Yeah,
the DMV. The thing that sucks about the DMV is that the cliches
- the waiting, the surly clerks, the computers that 'went down'
earlier - are all true. Always.
I waited and waited. And
waited. It was like those old text games, like Zork, where you
could type in "wait" as a command, and it would say
"Time Passes". I waited some more. Then, for something
different, I waited. And when I finally got up to the counter
(doing a touchdown dance) I received some Bad News.
I was there to get a Washington
driver's license because my old Oregon one expired. I know, I
am a procrastinating slut. My punishment for letting this chore
slide for so long is that I have to take the driving test.
So next week I have to go BACK to the evil DMV and drive around
with one of the surly withered prunes they have working there.
Well, at least I passed
the goddamned written test. Score one for me. Whooooooooo.
Despite Taffy Ass and yucky weather, I dragged myself to kickboxing
today. The cool thing about today's class is that there was a
new girl who just really really sucked. I just like being better
than SOMEONE in the class, you know? As long as someone else
is flailing like a dork I feel ok about my own potential dorkdom.
Sometimes I feel all buffed
up after that class and I walk home thinking I'd like to stumble
upon a guy stealing an old lady's purse or something. So I could
punch him! Yeah, just a good one right in the kisser. Just to
see if all those jabs and uppercuts and 'ultimate combinations'
taught me anything useful.
Probably not, though. Because
I'm such a mega scaredycat it's ridiculous. The other day a fucking
pigeon flew kind of close to my face and I screamed my
head off. Like, in public.
It's Tuesday night! Aren't
you excited? Because, um, it's almost Hump Day. And that
sounds kind of sexy, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, I've got hot wet
laundry action going on tonight. Laundry, what with the quarter-scrounging,
the really-heavy-basket-toting, the stairs going up and down-ing,
the Hall of Spiders (shudder), and the laundry area that was
cleaned Once Back When Dinosaurs Roamed The Earth.
Jealous. You're alllll
03.11.2002 - Anything
that makes your butt muscles hurt that much has got to be good
for you, right?
03.10.2002 - I
sliced its pallid dead zombie flesh and totally kicked it up
a notch in the frying pan. BAM!
03.08.2002 - This
entry is currently struggling into a petticoat, okay?
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004