03.10.2002 - 11:17 a.m.
I've been going to a lot of movies recently. Cause I'm all wild
and crazy like that. I finally checked out Seattle's touted
on Friday. Wow, its got like a 50 gillion billion million foot
wide screen. I went and sat way near the front so I had to ootch
way down in my seat and practically stretch out flat to see everything.
I also sat near a Stupid
Movie Prat. He was blathering away to his friend, whose useless
conversational contributions seemed to indicate he was very impressed
indeed by the Prat.
Prat: "Yeah, so did
you see The Mexican?"
Straight Man: (tentatively, cause he wouldn't want to indicate
a preference yet) "Um, yeah."
P: "GOD. What a pile of crap."
SM: (eagerly) "Yeah! I know."
P: "That first scene was so bad."
P: "I mean, it was so fake. So unreal. Where they're
yelling at each other? God."
SM: "Yeah, fake."
P: "Fraud-yoo-lent. And Brad Pitt's doing his twitchy thing."
SM: "Yeah! The…thing."
P: "That's all he does anymore."
SM: "Uh huh, I know."
P: (affecting an Insider tone) "You know Julia and Brad
can't stand each other in real life. That's why the chemistry
was so bad."
SM: "Yeah, really bad."
Jesus. The conversation
went on like that until the previews started. Never have I so
actively looked forward to seeing that animated popcorn cup fucker
tell me to turn off my cell phone.
Anyway, it was The Time Machine that I watched. Myeh. It
was ok. There's some good passing-through-time effects and the
ape monsters are pretty cool. But I really wanted to stand up
after the movie ended and scream "Why did the sausage
jammed in the sausage cause all of the sausages to sausage?!"
(Note that the term 'sausage' has been used to replace possible
Spoiler words.) If you know, tell
All righty, the other super
duper exciting thing that happened this weekend -so far, you
never know what looms ahead on the horizon - is that I cooked
tofu for the first time. I was feeling all zany at Fred Meyer's
and bought a block of what claimed to be "Very Firm"
tofu. Despite initially recoiling a bit from the icky bath it
was floating in, I sliced its pallid dead zombie flesh and totally
kicked it up a notch in the frying pan. BAM!
Tofu is the Carson Daly
of food - it just soaks up the personalities of whatever else
is around it. So hurray for tofu, you little versatile block
of weirdness, you.
03.08.2002 - This
entry is currently struggling into a petticoat, okay?
03.07.2002 - I
remember thinking, I didn't have enough time.
It's like diarrhea…or maybe it's like something less disgusting
has been in Bangkok the last few days and sent some pics. This
was taken at a seafood market. He writes: "Owning partially
to its name, the Phuket lobster has a care free attitude."
comments so far.
I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004