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2002-03-05 - 10:41 a.m.

Tuesday
So. My goal is to hit the gym vigorously at night while JB is gone, to help pass the time. Not because I need it. After all, my belly is mistaken for Janet Jackson's all the time. Heh. What I should really do, according to this month's Cosmo, is 'banish the winter blahs by eliminating carbs and alcohol altogether'.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Whew. Think I wet myself a little there.

I did go for the low-cal tuna fish thing yesterday. Then I remembered why it's really annoying to do that.

me: (opening can and plopping it into a bowl)
cat: MMMMMMRRIAO!
me: It's not for you.
cat: MRRRAP. MRAP.
me: Forget it.
cat: Meh! MEHHH! MIIAWWWWOOOARRR.
me: SHUT.
cat: MMOWW!!!
me: UP.
cat:
mee?
me: The hell? Do you need some WD-40?
cat: WAOW! WAOW! WAOW! MRRAAWWWWW!
me: Oh god, just - here, take it.

As part of the New Regime, I went to yoga class last night. I do this maybe once a month, so I am not exactly Madonna or whatever. I have undue concern about what I look like in some of the positions. I especially hate it when someone walks behind me when the class is doing Downward Facing Dog and I feel like a baboon in full estrus, temptingly poking my butt up in the air. And the ones where you have to balance on one foot - I'm always the dork wildly pinwheeling their arms and weaving like a sorority girl at Mardis Gras.

Also, can I just say…sports bras = evil. I've been on a quest to find the perfect sports bra, one that nails my hooters firmly in place yet does not result in Uniboob. They must be buried in a vault thousands of miles below the earth's crust, along with jeans that actually fit.

:::

Got some digital pix from JB. Here is Singapore:

And a Very Dire Warning:

:::

I got a message on my machine this AM from JB's brother Joe. He said, "Just wanted to let you know there's a really good Martha Stewart Living on right now. See ya." I think this is friggin hilarious. Joe is an avid outdoorsman, hunter, gun enthusiast, and all around 100% Guy. But for some reason, he loves him some Martha Stewart.

I think the Martha thing stems from his neat-freakedness. Joe is 23 or something, he should be living in his own filth like most guys - but everything in his apartment is always pathologically spotless. Probably because he's been working as a mortician for several years. I guess when you spend your nights around a lot of dead bodies you probably want your place to be germ-free.

We have a picture of Joe waving at the camera, wearing scrubs. The caption says "I put the FUN in FUNERAL." Then you notice…that's not his hand.

go back ::: forward

recent bleating:

2002-03-04 - By nothing more than a new moment, different from the last.
2002-03-01 - "Yoop. Yoop. Yoop. Blargh."
2002-02-28 - Are they going to insert a toilet snake down my throat or something?

ARTIFACT: Saw Wendigo yesterday afternoon. I'm a beeg horror movie fan, and I thought this one was pretty good. Cool camera effects. The Sundry Peanut Gallery criticism? Shouldn't have shown the monster. Go watch it, you'll see what I mean.
Deliverance hick guy fu. Sledding fu. Deer heads roll. Sundry says check it out.

0 comments so far.

I have moved. - 1.03.2005
Obviously, a work in progress. - 12.27.2004
Happy holidays! - 12.24.2004
Listen, I am not a complete dick, it's not like I want Joe to die alone surrounded by cats or something. - 12.23.2004
Plus I am convinced my butt is extra big when it's upside down. - 12.22.2004

yay, diaryland